The final class of my beginners jive course, and I spent the first half of it as a human rhyming dictionary: knocking out real live jives with hives. Just when I thought it was safe to eat a pizza, my allergy came back to remind me that it could still strike at any time.
Fortunately, and no doubt to the relief of my dancing partners, this reaction only involved a relatively minor skin reaction, and not my party-piece of blurred vision, vomiting and passing out. Putting aside the discomfort, I was able to perform the new moves with the flair and élan that I’ve built up over the previous five weeks.
Well, maybe not quite like that. Whereas last week everyone was twirling around the floor like pro jivers, this week things were far less fluent and there was more hesitancy. Beginning with the bouncey hands, it was left flat-hand push turn and then right-hand catch. Then over hand turn and right hand into the shoulder, step forward pushing down and to the left of the lady so that the guy is almost side on to her. Then a slight pivot (but keeping both feet on the floor) so the guy’s right hand is in the small of his back. A nifty hand flick guides the lady to turn and at the same time the guy turns 180° to the left, catching the returning lady in a close hold. Boh!
After the break we were taught another turn for the gents: beginning in the close hold, do 3 rock steps and then guide the lady into a raised hand turn. As she returns, the gent turns toward his raised left arm, keeping his left hand at his right shoulder. As he continues his turn, the lady’s hand trails down his back, allowing him to catch it again at the end of the turn. From there it’s a simple return and we’re back where we began: bouncey hands.
So there we are. Jive done [wasn’t he in Dad’s Army? rubbish convoluted pun Ed.] Five weeks down and some hot new dancefloor moves under my belt. It’s been a thoroughly enjoyable course: Level 2 begins in a fortnight and I reckon I’ll be there. Although one week it does clash with the England v Sweden game. That’s shaping up to be a major test of my rapidly-diminishing masculinity.
Tyrannosaurus Hives: http://cancerweb.ncl.ac.uk/cgi-bin/omd?hives
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Voice of the bee-jive
Whisper it, but I’m really starting to enjoy this! Over the course of four weeks, the rhythm has broken through my wizened, cynical exterior and jive has entered my soul. Heading down Kennington Road to the bus stop, I was actually bopping in the street. This continued back home and into the kitchen while I stirred my soup. It was like being in a musical!
While last week I began quite nervously, I felt into it from the opening steps tonight. The men were back to being outnumbered by the women again this week so there was no more having to practice alone while waiting your turn with a partner. Starting in a close hold, we added a ‘rock step’ into the forward/backward steps from last week. After three of these, it was left hand up for an overhead turn, followed by an immediate return and back into the good old bouncey hands. Four more of these, flat hand push turn and return. Then a new swish bit: as the lady completes her return, the gent immediately does a turn to the left with the lady’s hand guiding him around. Upon completion, it’s left hand up for an over hand turn and catching into a close hold. And then away with the forward/backward/rock steps. Simple, eh? It looks fairly nifty, and tonight, I had the boogie in me.
One week remaining then. The music will play on longer next week – til 10pm – and we can invite friends etc. to come along and check out our newly-learned moves. Anyone? Beginners Level Two begins June 6 for another five weeks. My quiz-mates may not be too amused (“I’ll be back in five weeks, promise!”) but there’s a strong possibility that I’ll be taking my skills to the next level.
Before all that though, it’s Hula Boogie on Sunday night. There’s a top Parisian jive DJ playing and it’s an opportunity to showcase my steps. The major flaw in this plan though is the lack of a partner. Turning up to the class alone is one thing, but it might be more awkward sans partner on a club night. Wonder if I can persuade CP to miss her train…
While last week I began quite nervously, I felt into it from the opening steps tonight. The men were back to being outnumbered by the women again this week so there was no more having to practice alone while waiting your turn with a partner. Starting in a close hold, we added a ‘rock step’ into the forward/backward steps from last week. After three of these, it was left hand up for an overhead turn, followed by an immediate return and back into the good old bouncey hands. Four more of these, flat hand push turn and return. Then a new swish bit: as the lady completes her return, the gent immediately does a turn to the left with the lady’s hand guiding him around. Upon completion, it’s left hand up for an over hand turn and catching into a close hold. And then away with the forward/backward/rock steps. Simple, eh? It looks fairly nifty, and tonight, I had the boogie in me.
One week remaining then. The music will play on longer next week – til 10pm – and we can invite friends etc. to come along and check out our newly-learned moves. Anyone? Beginners Level Two begins June 6 for another five weeks. My quiz-mates may not be too amused (“I’ll be back in five weeks, promise!”) but there’s a strong possibility that I’ll be taking my skills to the next level.
Before all that though, it’s Hula Boogie on Sunday night. There’s a top Parisian jive DJ playing and it’s an opportunity to showcase my steps. The major flaw in this plan though is the lack of a partner. Turning up to the class alone is one thing, but it might be more awkward sans partner on a club night. Wonder if I can persuade CP to miss her train…
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Desperate housejives
Three weeks down and the new moves are coming as thick and fast as the clumsy puns. Another fun class, and a couple of new additions to my boogie repertoire.
Last week we’d been shown that this week the men would be doing there first real foot movements and picking up a spin. Having never quite recovered from treading all over Laura Gadsbey in a school play, I was a little nervous about this. As we assembled and prepare to begin, it quickly became apparent that this week the men far outnumbered the women. For a while it appeared that some gents may have to take on the female role and be led through the moves, but this plan was rejected. Instead, we just had to take it in turns with a partner and then wait your turn on the next rotation. On these occasions I took the opportunity to do the moves anyway, with an invisible partner whose toes would remain safely unscathed. There was a new guy next to me and he got on my nerves by chucking in lots of additional spins and turns. Cocky git.
There was no recapping to begin with and we started straight away with the close hold. This was followed by four simple forward/back steps, before leading the female into an overhand turn, return and then into some of the good old bouncey hands. I was told by Julie (teacher) to be less afraid and more assertive with my close hold and steps.
At the interval we were given flyers about the next ‘Hula Boogie’ night at South Pacific, on Sunday May 21st. Anyone interested in sampling my moves at close quarters, give me a shout. We were also told about the recommended course CD. A collection of classic jive cuts for us to practice with. At £4 you can’t really go wrong and I’ll be picking one of those up before the end of the course. Again, get in touch if you would like one… Some music to practice to would definitely be happy now that I have quite a few moves to remember. A partner to practice with would be even better though…
With a beer down me (but safely within the legal drink jiving limit), I got more confident. We began with some more bouncey hands, leading into a flat hand push turn and return. As my partner completed her return and faced me again, I then had to do a turn of my own, walking under my raised left arm. Follow this up with another over arm turn of the female into a close hold and then you’re off into forward/backward steps. [I appreciate that this probably doesn’t make for thrilling reading but it’s serving the purpose of helping me remember what I’ve learned].
Once this had been practiced a couple of times, we added the moves from the first half and put them together. It was a genuinely good feeling getting them all in the right order and executed neatly (although I still struggle when we’re not counted in and I have to work out when to begin on my own). My pre-class concerns were unfounded. While I’m not exactly Bruce Forsyth just yet, I really think that I did pretty well tonight.
Hurrah!
Last week we’d been shown that this week the men would be doing there first real foot movements and picking up a spin. Having never quite recovered from treading all over Laura Gadsbey in a school play, I was a little nervous about this. As we assembled and prepare to begin, it quickly became apparent that this week the men far outnumbered the women. For a while it appeared that some gents may have to take on the female role and be led through the moves, but this plan was rejected. Instead, we just had to take it in turns with a partner and then wait your turn on the next rotation. On these occasions I took the opportunity to do the moves anyway, with an invisible partner whose toes would remain safely unscathed. There was a new guy next to me and he got on my nerves by chucking in lots of additional spins and turns. Cocky git.
There was no recapping to begin with and we started straight away with the close hold. This was followed by four simple forward/back steps, before leading the female into an overhand turn, return and then into some of the good old bouncey hands. I was told by Julie (teacher) to be less afraid and more assertive with my close hold and steps.
At the interval we were given flyers about the next ‘Hula Boogie’ night at South Pacific, on Sunday May 21st. Anyone interested in sampling my moves at close quarters, give me a shout. We were also told about the recommended course CD. A collection of classic jive cuts for us to practice with. At £4 you can’t really go wrong and I’ll be picking one of those up before the end of the course. Again, get in touch if you would like one… Some music to practice to would definitely be happy now that I have quite a few moves to remember. A partner to practice with would be even better though…
With a beer down me (but safely within the legal drink jiving limit), I got more confident. We began with some more bouncey hands, leading into a flat hand push turn and return. As my partner completed her return and faced me again, I then had to do a turn of my own, walking under my raised left arm. Follow this up with another over arm turn of the female into a close hold and then you’re off into forward/backward steps. [I appreciate that this probably doesn’t make for thrilling reading but it’s serving the purpose of helping me remember what I’ve learned].
Once this had been practiced a couple of times, we added the moves from the first half and put them together. It was a genuinely good feeling getting them all in the right order and executed neatly (although I still struggle when we’re not counted in and I have to work out when to begin on my own). My pre-class concerns were unfounded. While I’m not exactly Bruce Forsyth just yet, I really think that I did pretty well tonight.
Hurrah!
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Memo to self: Don't go waving your camera around in a public toilet. It's asking for trouble.
The cubicle doors in the toilets in the reception at Guy's hospital look like this:
[This is the side facing inwards. The outer side has other London skyline pics.]
[This is the side facing inwards. The outer side has other London skyline pics.]
Good work. Makes a change from the usual parade of football/sectarian/sexual garbage. Someone had managed to add some graffiti though - there's a doodle of a man in one of the windows near the top on the right waving and shouting 'Woo hoo!'. Cute.
Incidentally, one of my all-time favourite bits of toilet graffiti was at Leeds Uni. 2 people had contributed:
"I just did a turd and it reminded me of a queer"
"You must do some well-dressed turds, you f*cking Nazi"
Anyone?
It's time to start a new feature: In Tom's Pigeon Hole
Confirmation of doctoral status. Hurrah.
"But 'bola - you've already highlighted this! You lazy show off" I hear you cry. Correct. The real point of this new feature is the amazing signature at the bottom of the letter:
That's not a name. That's a cardiogram!
Squash update: week 2
Squash HQ received this photo yesterday:
How long do squash last? Do they buy a new squash when the current one gets, er, squashed by the force of the closing window? This one has been sat in the sun all day and it was a week ago that I first noticed it (assuming it's the same one).
SquashWatch HQ contacted its vegetable correspondent, CP, to try and shed some light:
"Well...they have quite a tough outer, so I reckon it could last a couple of weeks before going all mushy. And although it is out in the warm air all day, we don't know if it goes into a fridge overnight. Or maybe even a freezer. I'd give it another week and if it's still there then maybe it's a new squash."
Thanks, CP.
Updates to follow as soon as we receive them.
How long do squash last? Do they buy a new squash when the current one gets, er, squashed by the force of the closing window? This one has been sat in the sun all day and it was a week ago that I first noticed it (assuming it's the same one).
SquashWatch HQ contacted its vegetable correspondent, CP, to try and shed some light:
"Well...they have quite a tough outer, so I reckon it could last a couple of weeks before going all mushy. And although it is out in the warm air all day, we don't know if it goes into a fridge overnight. Or maybe even a freezer. I'd give it another week and if it's still there then maybe it's a new squash."
Thanks, CP.
Updates to follow as soon as we receive them.
I don’t like cricket, I love it
Despite my paean to fantasy cricket being met with the online equivalent of stony faces, I’m not going to let the matter drop like a missed slip catch. Ladies and gentlemen, here is the starting XI that aims to build upon the reigning triumphant ‘Mahmoody Blues’ (Willis Challenge Champions, 2005).
Please welcome…….‘Straight outta Compton’
PA Jaques
RS Bopara
SG Law
BM Shafayat
NRD Compton
CMW Read
L Klusener
Mushtaq Ahmed
Zaheer Khan
Mohammed Asif
G Keedy
They begin scoring points from today. Go on lads!
Marvellous.
Please welcome…….‘Straight outta Compton’
PA Jaques
RS Bopara
SG Law
BM Shafayat
NRD Compton
CMW Read
L Klusener
Mushtaq Ahmed
Zaheer Khan
Mohammed Asif
G Keedy
They begin scoring points from today. Go on lads!
Marvellous.
Don’t drink and jive
Ho ho ho. I used that line tonight. It was met with a polite ‘ha’, but not a lot more. Ho hum, there’s plenty more where that came from.
Keeping with drinking and jiving, I managed to practice my new moves at a wedding over the weekend (congratulations Helen and Ed!). Refreshed by a few scoops, I decided that I was a dance commander and tried to lead CP in a few flat hand turn and bouncey hand combos. The most surprising thing occurred when I told my mate Dan that I was learning jive. Bracing myself for the ensuing mockery/funny look, I was amazed when he revealed that he’d done a jive class the previous year and then followed it up with a dash of salsa. He then called to Pete, also at our table, “Tom’s learning jive”, to which Pete responded, “Oh yeah, modern or traditional?” So take that, haters.
So, week 2 in the Jive house. I was there a few minutes earlier than last week, which meant that I had time to fit in some clumsy small talk before class. Turns out that the couple that I initially guessed were from North America are actually from Gothenburg. Unfortunately, they didn’t appear to be very interested when I said that I knew people in Halmstad and had visited Sweden twice, and the conversation ended far quicker than I thought it had any right to.
The class got underway with a recap of the bouncing hands that we began with last week. Easy. We again followed that with the raised hand turn and return and all was going well. Everyone seemed more relaxed than last week and I was feeling quite good about my jive moves. During the break the small talk improved and it turned out that there were lots of talking points within the group of 4 that I sat with: we are all involved in research of some description, 3 of used to live in Leeds, and 1 writes for ‘Psychologies’ magazines (it’s exceeding it’s expected sales figures).
After the break, a new move was introduced, which I’m going to refer to as ‘flat-hand turn with wrong hand catch’ (look it up in any jive manual). I’m going to write down the moves for my own benefit as much as anything else, as there quickly became more and more components to remember. From the top: flat-hand push turn, right hand catch, right arm turn, in, out, right flat-hand push turn, left hand catch and return. Blimey. That all seemed to come together pretty well. Unfortunately, it began to break down when we then added 4 bouncey hands and an over hand turn immediately after. And when Julie (teacher) stopped counting us in and told the men to decide when to come in with the music, my flimsy northern Lionel Blair façade began to creak alarmingly.
The class ended with a quick demonstration by Andy and Julie of what we are going to learn next week. Things are going to go up a level: close-holds and men spins. Ladies, your feet may have enjoyed two weeks of safety but next week it might be worth wearing toecaps.
Keeping with drinking and jiving, I managed to practice my new moves at a wedding over the weekend (congratulations Helen and Ed!). Refreshed by a few scoops, I decided that I was a dance commander and tried to lead CP in a few flat hand turn and bouncey hand combos. The most surprising thing occurred when I told my mate Dan that I was learning jive. Bracing myself for the ensuing mockery/funny look, I was amazed when he revealed that he’d done a jive class the previous year and then followed it up with a dash of salsa. He then called to Pete, also at our table, “Tom’s learning jive”, to which Pete responded, “Oh yeah, modern or traditional?” So take that, haters.
So, week 2 in the Jive house. I was there a few minutes earlier than last week, which meant that I had time to fit in some clumsy small talk before class. Turns out that the couple that I initially guessed were from North America are actually from Gothenburg. Unfortunately, they didn’t appear to be very interested when I said that I knew people in Halmstad and had visited Sweden twice, and the conversation ended far quicker than I thought it had any right to.
The class got underway with a recap of the bouncing hands that we began with last week. Easy. We again followed that with the raised hand turn and return and all was going well. Everyone seemed more relaxed than last week and I was feeling quite good about my jive moves. During the break the small talk improved and it turned out that there were lots of talking points within the group of 4 that I sat with: we are all involved in research of some description, 3 of used to live in Leeds, and 1 writes for ‘Psychologies’ magazines (it’s exceeding it’s expected sales figures).
After the break, a new move was introduced, which I’m going to refer to as ‘flat-hand turn with wrong hand catch’ (look it up in any jive manual). I’m going to write down the moves for my own benefit as much as anything else, as there quickly became more and more components to remember. From the top: flat-hand push turn, right hand catch, right arm turn, in, out, right flat-hand push turn, left hand catch and return. Blimey. That all seemed to come together pretty well. Unfortunately, it began to break down when we then added 4 bouncey hands and an over hand turn immediately after. And when Julie (teacher) stopped counting us in and told the men to decide when to come in with the music, my flimsy northern Lionel Blair façade began to creak alarmingly.
The class ended with a quick demonstration by Andy and Julie of what we are going to learn next week. Things are going to go up a level: close-holds and men spins. Ladies, your feet may have enjoyed two weeks of safety but next week it might be worth wearing toecaps.
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