Here's how the evening went:
1930
Enter theatre. Given complimentary programme that has a special 'First night: 17th October 2006' sticker on. Wonder how much I could get on ebay for it. Look at overpriced merchandise stall: chuckle at the tray of spam sandwiches.
1933
Begin to head up to our seats up in the roof of the theatre. Look back down into the foyer and spot Brian May and Anita Dobson. Woo!
1935
Get to seats - central but very high up. It's very hot. I head to the bar to book interval drinks.
1936
Realise that the show's not due to start until 8pm so instead of returning to the seat I decide to head back downstairs and see who else I can spot.
1938
Get back to the foyer, pretend to be looking at the merchandise. Quickly abandon the pretence and position myself bang in front of the door. Lots of camera bulbs popping outside...
1939
Sir Cliff Richard enters, wearing a rather loud black and white shirt under his jacket. He's accompanied by a lady. As he passes me, he says to her 'Hey, Brian's here!' and they go and speak to Brian May. I am very excited.
1940
Spot Gary Lineker outside, working the crowd. There's also a big guy with a white beard. I don't know who he is but he seems to be popular.
1941
Steven Berkoff comes in.
1944
That artist that won the Turner prize a couple of years back, wears dresses and does pottery comes in. He's wearing normal clothes though.
1945
Lots of people who might be famous but might just be pretending to be by dressing up a bit walk past me. I recognised a Scottish man who is in stuff on TV. It's not Ken Stott. That's all I can tell you.
1946
Thought I saw Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall come in. Decide it's not him.
1947
Lineker is still working the crowd.
1950
I decide that I probably ought to head back to my seat and begin the climb upstairs. As I do so, I have another glance down into the foyer: Jonathan Pryce has come in with his leg in plaster.
1955
Get back to seat. VERY excited.
1957
Gawp around at the people sat on the 3rd tier - anyone famous up here? Doesn't appear to be. The guy that probably isn't Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is sat nearby though. As is a guy that looks like the big fella who works the reception in ER.
2005
Much smirking around me as a young lady gets to her seat a couple of rows in front - the tag from the shop is still attached and hanging prominently down the back of her dress. Oh dahling...
2010
Performance not started yet. Regret not hanging about longer downstairs.
2015
Away we go....
2115
Interval. The first half was pretty good - several funny moments. But no time for reflection - time to get back downstairs.
2117
Collect drinks and begin battling past everyone to get to the ground floor. Double-take as I thought I saw Melinda Messenger. I didn't. I need the toilet but decide to hang on until the stalls toilet on the off chance that I might end up stood next to someone famous. Ideally Sir Cliff.
2119
Get to the stalls bar. Bill Oddie is leaning by the wall reading the programme. Head to the toilet - Lineker is just exiting as I enter. Dammit - so close! Ignoring toilet taboo and breaking established urinal etiquette, I head straight for a position between two other guys. I don't look who they are first, just get into position and try and surreptitously glance left and right to see if I recognise them. I don't. Arse!
2122
Back into the bar. There's Tim Brooke-Taylor. Only need one more for a clean sweep. That fat guy from the History Boys who used to be in Pie in the Sky and shouts at unfortunate theatre-goers who forget to turn their mobiles off blocks my path and I have to squeeze past him. He's a big fella. Spot Steven Berkoff again.
2124
There's Eddie Izzard! People start ushering us back to seats so quickly head back upstairs for pt 2.
2130
It's absolutely boiling up here!
2230
The curtain comes down - end of the show. Cast take a bow. Eric Idle gets up on stage. The guy in front of me gets extremely excited. Idle does a speech and makes some lame jokes about America. He invites some people up on stage. Turns out the Charles Darwin lookalike I spotted at the start is his American co-writer. The rest of the Python team get up onstage - sans Cleese - and the guy in front of me can barely contain himself. Everyone sings an encore of 'Always look on the bright side of life'. I really dislike the song so just mumble along.
2240
Begin the slow exit from the theatre. John Sessions is behind us and I earwig on his conversation with a friend (who I'm pretty sure is the narrator guy in the current production of the Canterbury Tales on in London).
2250
Get outside. Some people dressed as peasants are shouting for 'anyone going to the party' to follow them. We consider following, but decide against it. Lurk outside for a few minutes in case any other interesting people emerge, but no more.
And there we are! To be honest, we both felt that if it wasn't for the razzamatazz of it being the opening night, we would have been a bit disappointed. A few jokes aside, the 2nd half was pretty lame I'm afraid: it was mostly filler, the story was non-existent and it suddenly struck me that it was all a bit panto. There are no real female roles in the film so they've tried to shoehorn one into the musical. Understandable, but they shouldn't have bothered: it adds nothing aside from a contrived finale and some pretty pointless songs. There's also a big song about how you need some Jews involved if you want your musical to be a success. Someone near me booed during that. I wouldn't have gone that far but I did feel a bit uncomfortable during it. It just wasn't very funny really, and felt like an attempt to copy The Producers. If I'm being ultra-picky, I'd say that the make-up made the lead lady look like some kind of cat. That was from the highest seats in the house - god knows how it looked from the front.
1 comment:
I enjoyed your celeb spotting brother 'Bola. I'm most impressed by Bill Oddie there. I imagine he would have been quite fun to chat to whereas the others all would have been a bit arsey or might have hit you... Speaking of which, any sign of Macca?
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