'Hello Doctor, your nurse said it was urgent?'
'That's right Mr. Gurney. Please, take a seat. We have your test results back and I'm afraid that it's serious.'
'It's ok Doctor. Be honest with me. I need to hear the truth....why are you wearing a facemask?'
'You have a rare condition known as Cheddicks. I'm afraid that in your case it is a particularly virulent and contagious strain.'
'Oh God.....Is there anything that you can do?'
'Well, we're going to get you on a strict diet of Ryvita and lettuce.'
'Will that do any good?'
'I've no idea, but it's the only thing that will fit under the door.'
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