Always in my HOUSE!

Two years on from the runaway success* of John Barry Bingo, we're doing it again. That's right, this evening we'll be getting very excited about Always in my HOUSE!** - The Pet Shop Boys concert lottery game.

Following the procedures established almost exactly two years ago, a selection from PSB's perfect pop catalogue was prepared:


and the draw was made to produce two game cards. Here's mine:


I hope Neil shows more interest tonight. And here is CP's:



For those interested in the finer details of this, I selected the tracks largely from the Pop/Art collection, plus a few from the current Yes album. Neither of us were lucky enough to pick the bankers 'Love etc.' and 'Did you see me coming?' and we both have a couple of wildcards in there (I think the chances of playing 'Se a vida e' or 'Opportunities (let's make lots of money)' are fairly remote to be honest).

It's strange that this will be the first time I have seen them perform live, because they were the first band that I got into. 'Actually' on cassette was the first album I owned, and listened to repeatedly on my first cassette player - a big red Panasonic (still going strong) - and first personal stereo - a big turquoise block from Boots (long since departed). It was around this time that I had a fall out with my best friend at primary school. He had previously said that PSB were his favourite group as well, but then in Junior Two he told everyone that Michael Jackson was his favourite. Turncoat! Everyone (by which I mean boys, the opinions of girls were of no interest to me at that time) said Michael Jackson was the best. I was never a fan of his, and probably enjoyed ploughing a lone furrow. I remember eagerly listening to the Top 40 one Sunday at my grans and cheering as 'Heart' reached Number 1. You don't get that with downloads blah blah blah.

Other memories popped up while writing this. In Junior Four, our teacher must have been experimenting with teaching methods or something as I can remember that we were able to bring music in and have it on while working at a particular table. I brought in my 'Introspective' cassette and sat down to work. The extended orchestral opening to 'Left to my own devices' was barely half a minute in when the teacher asked, with disgust, 'What's this?'. I mumbled something about it picking up in a minute and willed it to hurry through to the main bit of the song. Unrelated, I once played my gran the same track, and remember her saying as the drum machine started and the second intro bit kicked in, 'Here they come!'.



Although they've not been 'my favourite band' now for several years, I've remained a fan throughout. I really ought to have gone to their show at the Tower of London a couple of years ago and since missing that I decided that I would take the next opportunity. And as if the prospect wasn't exciting enough, there'll be added bingo!




* Well, I enjoyed it.

** I reckon Craig is the only one who will get that. Munch as an outside bet. I found it very difficult to come up with a PSB/bingo pun - can you do better?

You're a goal-scoring superstar hero...

This Sunday I'll be reacquainting myself with a childhood passion. Sensible World of Soccer, or Sensi, took up a massive proportion of my teenage years. Most games become boring once they are completed or the initial novelty disappears, but the pleasure of Sensi never waned. It isn't much to look at, as the pics will indicate, but it was so addictive that it should have been considered a Class A substance. Towards the end of my time with my Amiga 600 (around the 1st year of University and purchasing my first console), I was keeping records of statistics and successes (a quick look on the internet reveals - obviously - that there are people wayyyyy more obsessed than that). One peak that remains strong in my memory was my all-conquering Manchester City team that scored 300+ goals in a season (all competitions). It's etched in my head - I can remember the core of the team instantly. Florin Raducioiu and Ruben Sosa blasted 100 goals each, with the remaining third spread throughout the rest of the squad: Brian Laudrup (LW), Mario Basler (RW), Jose Chamot (incredible Argentinian defender - in the game anyway, no idea what he was like for real)... all playing to an attacking 3-5-2 formation. I remember enjoying the surprise of finding certain players who were amazing in the game, but could never be considered that in their real life form. The best example being Alan Kernaghan: never a particularly popular player during his time at City but he was a mainstay of my multi-title winning sides. The crucial factor was speed - he was very quick (see also: Ian Brightwell, Phil Babb) - and for me the key to success was building a super-fast team. Another highlight was the names of the loan players that would appear in your squad to replace the injured/banned. They were never real players, but appeared to be incongruent combinations of other players from across the world so would end up with brilliant names like Boudewijn Quigley or something. When I wasn't conquering the world with my MCFC team (and holding cliche-filled press conferences in my head after yet another European triumph), I was creating and updating my own teams via the Custom Teams option. School Bus, People I hate (American kids shoot up the school, I created a football team), Debenhams (colleagues from my part-time job), Tommy's Babes (hahaha....nobody else ever got to see that one. I think Sharon Stone was in net - it was circa Basic Instinct after all), Britpop (Alan McGee was coach, Kermit and Shaun Ryder from Black Grape led the attack, supported by Norman Blake and Louise Wener). The memories are flooding back as I write this.... the simple pleasure of designing the kits! I never kept a diary, but the disk containing the teams I created would tell you all you needed to know about the state of my adolescent mind.

Anyway, as I said, I'm re-immersing myself in this world on Sunday by attending a talk by one of the creators of Sensi (+ other genius games like Cannon Fodder), Jon Hare. Apparently there'll be a tournament too, with the chance to play against JH himself. I'm tempted to give it a go, but fearful that I won't be as good as I thought I was (it's been 10 years!) and will be soundly thrashed by true hardcore SWOS ninjas. Besides, I'd be without my lucky joystick*.

Happy days.



and while we're at it:




* Last year I did get a TV plug in version of Sensi - it's good but I just can't get used to playing with a joypad.

"Maid required. Must be prepared to do a whole lot more than ironing"

While away I enjoyed checking out the latest Malayan news in the papers that were available in the hotels and aeroplanes. Depressingly, the main sports stories were ALWAYS about the EPL (English Premier League), while the major news story was the change to a new Prime Minister, which was occurring while we were out there. The papers were always full of subservient full-page ads from the directors of various companies, either thanking the outgoing PM for his wonderful work for the good of Malaysian people, or congratulating the new PM on his appointment and wishing him every success.

While flicking through the April 8 edition of the Star (the one with the best cartoons), and scanning the readers letters, I came across the following:

Tombolablog's advice to all prospective maids: If he suggests you polish his family jewels, it's time to leave

Wowser! What kind of service does 'Swan' expect??? Come on Fomema, get your act together and scan all maids for herpes. And while you're at it, only employ ones with big tits.

THE BEST POUND EVER SPENT

Amazing.

Been around the world and I - I - I - I....

...had an amazing time. Thanks!

Ok, didn't really go around the world: just to Malaysia and Borneo. How times change - back in 2006 I was filling this page with regular updates about the minutiae of trying to find a chip shop, or carrying too much stuff back from the supermarket. Now I do proper big stuff like get married and move city and the blogging compulsion deserts me. I apologise for the absence, especially now that I see that this blog has a follower (hello, whoever you may be). Crazy times!

Here's a quick snap from Langkawi*. More to follow!


* any resemblance to the flag raising at Iwo Jima shot is purely intentional

Dear Points of View....

"I'd run out of notelets so I used a door instead."

Note the response in blue at the bottom, possibly from Ms. Kelly's mum.

WHILE STOCKS LAST

Following the sell-out success of O'Connor-in-my-pocket late last year, Tombolablog Inc. are proud to present the very limited edition* CP-30** action figure. With glowing eyes apparently.





* a limited edition of 1

** the name of the figure will be obsolete, both in terms of initials, and numbers, by the middle of next week. Tombolablog Inc. accepts no responsibility for any distress or upset that this may cause.

Breaking news: Rumours intenstify over imminent Transformers battle

...as Optimus Prime is spotted in Derbyshire


Yeah, the day before my wedding - I probably have better things to be doing!

Twin peeks

Unbelievably, it has been suggested that the toy advertised on here before Christmas was not real, and was all just some clever computer jiggery-pokery. Let me assure you, that the product is entirely genuine, as the following photographic evidence will attest.

Wander about town:
Bicycle trip:



Jungle adventure:

Support your local shops

We here at Tombolablog are very much opposed to the relentless homogenisation of the High Street (don't get me started on out of town retail/'entertainment' parks).

So with that in mind, we hereby pledge that from this day forward we will only purchase our cash registers from here (showroom visits by prior appointment only):


20% off retro tills with a Wedge card*

Not only that, but we will be satisfying all of our faux-lawn requirements here:


I give it 6 months :(


* not really, I'm being silly

When toilet furniture sounds like the start of Radiohead songs, No. 354

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you 'Packt like sardines in a crushd tin box'...

[Don't panic by the way - this is not a mucky clip despite looking ominous!]









Next week: 'Fitter happier' played on a condom machine.


Actually, while I'm at it, here's a genius Radiohead cover using old computers:

When neuropsychological tests look like album covers, No. 527

Spiritualized: 'Songs from A and E' and the Wisconsin Card Sorting Task

Songs from A & E:


The Wisconsin Card Sorting Task:

More psychometrics/record sleeve hijinks next time folks!

A TOMBOLABLOG EXCLUSIVE: this Christmas’s MUST-HAVE gift

Dec 2008:
From the vaults of Tombolablog.... this one has been 'on the needles' for even longer than my knitting projects. Unbelievably, the PhD paper it refers to [below] actually got published (not just written, published) several months before this sees the light of day. Incredible. I can't help thinking now that this would have been better back in 2006. Back when blogs were popular. My excuse for holding it back was that I wanted to make the graphics better. I think you'll agree, the wait was worth it! Hmmm.

Anyway, here we go. This was written around March 2007:

Since December 2005, an ever-present feature on my to-do lists has been 'write papers from PhD' [and this blog entry has been on the to-do list since October 2006, To-do list Ed.]. Despite a couple of false starts, the papers remain in pretty much the same state they were back in January 2006. Back in March 2006, my PhD supervisor was down in London to give a seminar. We went out afterwards and I was - as always - inspired by his energy and enthusiasm. I've not spoken to him in person since then and the papers still seem as far from completion as ever.

What I need, it seems, is some way of harnessing his motivational skills, somehow replicating his impact on me, even when he's nowhere near... If only I had some way of doing this.....

And now I do! Thanks to O'CONNOR-IN-MY-POCKET!TM

'O'Connor-in-my-pocket' TM is your magical motivational friend! Small enough to fit inside any pocket or pencil case, he can be used to perk up flagging scientific journal articles, and boost even the dullest meta-analysis.

A gentle tug on the hair of 'O'Connor-in-my-pocket' TM triggers one of three fantastic, inspirational phrases!

• "Happy days!"
• "Thanks for playing!"
• "Angel of Harlem!"

'O'Connor-in-my-pocket' TM comes with an exciting range of collectable accessories, including:

• Camper shoes
• Bottle of Evian
• White shirt with stripes on that looks like one that Tom wears
• A guitar*

SPECIAL OFFER! Purchase one 'O'Connor-in-my-pocket' TM before the end of the year and get a free 'O'Connor-in-my-pocket' TM twin!


This Christmas, get the impact factor you've always dreamed of with 'O'Connor-in-my-pocket' TM, new from Tombolablog Inc.

* Tombolablog Inc. cannot be held responsible for any occasion that 'O'Connor-in-my-pocket'TM malfunctions and plays its guitar loudly outside your room all night.

Supermarket black hole

Performing in front of millions on the Strictly Come Dancing results show is one thing, but that was evidently just the warm up gig before tonight's appearance at Colliers Wood Sainsburys/M&S megastore:



Am I alone in thinking that he's actually not a particularly strong singer? Tombolablog's favourite Barrowman moment remains the time when we were enjoying a bout of late-night channel hopping and stumbled onto QVC to find the multi-talented* entertainer live on the phone, gushing effusively about the magic of Lock 'n Lock food storage receptacles.




* As if singing, acting and judging others singing and acting wasn't enough, Tombolablog once heard a rumour that he's hung like a rogue elephant too.

Sunflowers with faces? Gone. Bird on cat head? Gone.

In the end we decided to set the alarm for 0120, in order to get a bus at 0200. Warm in bed, at that moment sitting shivering on the streets of Kensington was a marginally less attractive proposition than embarking on a pleasure cruise around the Horn of Africa. But get up we did and after some night bus fun (everyone else was heading home from nights out), we got to the RCA by 0300. I'd avoided thinking about how many people might be there already but was pretty surprised to find so many tents and sleeping bags lined up outside.


Wrapped in as many layers as we could comfortably fit in, we then spent the next four hours reading books and periodically walking about in order to try and regain the feeling in our feet. Others had brought drinks and chairs and were making a party of it. I'm just glad that Claire thought to bring cushions to sit on. At least it wasn't snowing.

Gradually, the sun came up, the tents came down and people got ready to enter the building. At this point there was lots of checking and rechecking of the postcard list. Immediately in front of us in the queue was a rather cocksure German (is there any other kind? National Stereotyping Ed.). He was confidently claiming that he knew exactly which one was the Anish Kapoor, which was a Turner Prize winner etc. etc. His girlfriend was one of the lucky 50 to win raffle tickets to be first in the queue, and she was going to get these for him.

The queue inched forward through the building and towards the sales desk. We estimated that we were in the first 150 or so and at this point I was holding out some hope of getting at least one of my top targets (a Quentin Blake, which were fairly easy to spot, or perhaps one by Nick Park, ditto). While in the final stages of the queue, there were two screens showing the numbers turning red as they were sold. We'd brought a list of ~150 cards that we liked, with about 25 each as our top targets. What followed was the most disheartening game of bingo possible, as numbers were routinely crossed from our lists and the prospect grew of us getting to the front and just picking any old number that was still available. The Blakes were gone early, along with the couple of oil paintings of London views, as was a cartoony one of a lion and a rabbit (that turned out to be Paul Smith).

There were a few salespeople so once one became vacant it was a case of saying numbers as fast as possible before someone else bagged them. Happily, three from our prime list were still there so we captured those. We emerged to find the enormous queue disappearing around the building (and smirked as we spotted some guy who'd tried to push in at 8am, now way back down the line).

We were back home by 1030, and saved the suspense of revealing until then. No amazing big names worth thousands but all ones that we liked so happy days. It was then a case of sitting by the radiator to try and warm up again.

It was an exciting and stressful experience and I'm really glad that we did it and got there early. Also very glad that we put the time in and made a long list of the ones we liked - to have got to the desk and end up having to pick one virtually at random would have been a big waste of time. Reflecting on it afterwards, we decided:
a. getting there a couple of hours earlier would have made very little difference - many hardcore people had been there for a long, long time
b. choosing ones you actually like to look at is the best strategy - pinning your hopes on something that you don't actually like, simply because it might be by someone famous is a waste of time. I'd had a [quick] go at guessing which ones were by Grayson Perry, Tracey Emin and John Squire and, predictably, they weren't. I had a feeling that the doodles of Barack Obama might be by a big name and now slightly regret not getting one after discovering they were by Alex Katz and were available when we were buying.
c. going with your heart set on one or two particular cards would be pretty much pointless
I'm not sure that giving away the first 50 places in a raffle is the best thing as 200 cards could be gone (individuals can buy up to four cards each) before the first person in the queue could have a go, no matter how long they'd been queueing for.

Anyway, here's one that featured highly on both of our lists and we were delighted to get:



Epilogue.
By last night the RCA website revealed who each of the cards was by. Amusingly, we discovered that the German's assertions were mistaken.

I'll sell you a secret for a song

What will you be doing this evening? Probably not standing outside all night, in a queue, I'd wager. Tomorrow morning, at 8am, sees the sale of the works in this year's RCA Secret exhibition. For those who don't know the event, a load of artists are given a blank postcard and asked to do what they want with it. The majority of these (I think) are this year's RCA graduates, but cards are also produced by big name artists. They all cost the same price to buy, but you don't know whose work it is until you've bought it and taken a look at the back. Hardcore aficionados will try and spot the ones by the big names and then sell them for a big profit.

A couple of years ago we made a rather half-hearted attempt to get a card, arriving at about 10.30am to find a queue snaking its way around the RCA, and for hundreds of metres beyond. This time we're taking it seriously, and debating at what time to get there and hit the queue. Night bus trip and 4am? How about get the last tube and be there by 1am? With this in mind, it's with a certain amount of dread that we've been watching the weather forecast over the last few days, with everyone banging on about imminent sub-zero conditions.

We've spent some time looking at the collection (there are 2700 cards) and making a list of the ones we liked. Neither of us know enough about specific artists to actually try and work out which ones are by Tracey Emin, Grayson Perry etc., we're just looking for ones that we'd be happy to hang on a wall and if they happen to be worth loads, even better.

I'll report back tomorrow with how we got on. Perhaps.

Lazy 'amusing' foreign shop name blog

You wouldn't find this on a British high street....it would be called 'Scope Coiffure' instead. Hang on, that actually sounds like a trendy hair cuttery. I can imagine Andreas working there.

But just imagine the taunts if you had your hair cut at Spazio's while you were at school! There'd be a picture of Joey Deacon in the window for sure. For a long time I got mine cut at 'Waves and Curls' which is where my mum went. If anyone at school asked where I got my hair cut (and they often did, as I looked mighty fine), I would lie and mumble something about not knowing what it was called or something and then change the subject. The place was fine - of course - there just came a point when I started to twig that it might be a bit embarrassing getting spotted in there. But! I never succumbed to the popular ultra-shaved spikey look, and for that I am truly grateful.

Let's call this the comeback

Alright, it's been a while etc. etc. Happy autumn. What better way than returning with some cheap innuendo?

I've recently come to the opinion that I work in the smuttiest place in the country. May I draw your attention to Exhibit A:



















Blimey. Maybe it interferes with the equipment or something.

And Exhibit B:



















I'll leave that one to you.


No further questions, your Honour.


It's good to be back :)

Taste the difference

Insects and beasties dwelling inside a peach might be enchanting when read in a children's book. But when you cut into your freshly bought supermarket produce (Taste the Difference? I nearly did), it's not quite as appealing.

World, the time has come to...

...push the button

















That's a real life TV quiz show buzzer.

Monday 15th Sep, BBc4, 8.30pm.