What's the frequency Kennington?

Have just returned from my first jive class. I’m delighted to report that I trod on, no - count’em! you can't! – no toes. Which by my reckoning makes the night an instant success.

We began with a short introduction from our teachers, Julie and Andy. A quick glance at my class mates revealed a pretty varied mix; I wasn't the only bloke and there appeared to be a 50/50 gender split. One girl appeared to have come dressed in jive gear and her headband looked a bit like cat ears. Maybe I should put my hair in a quiff next week. Instead of putting us at ease though, I reckon most people ended up feeling more self-conscious than they already were. This was because we were told that there were deodorants in the toilets and in the past there have been a couple of occasions where people have had to be informed that they weren’t particularly fresh. I wasn’t sure if that was a joke or not but instantly felt worried about my own state of underarm aroma, particularly as I’d had to jog the last bit in order to avoid being late. Nobody said anything so I think I was ok.

We then assembled ourselves into two lines, males and females, facing each other ready to begin. Over the course of the next hour and a bit we were shown some beginners steps. They weren’t given names but in order for me to remember them better I’ve christened them:

* bouncey step
* raise turn (and return)
* flat hand push turn (and return)

The class followed the pattern of the gents remaining stood in the same place, with the ladies proceeding along the line so that you changed partner every minute or so. The moves gradually came together and I reckon I had them cracked by the end. To be honest, the guys didn’t have to move much while the ladies did a couple of different spins. The lack of foot movement required by me minimised the likelihood of any toe-treading mishaps. But don’t worry ladies, that’ll come. It was impossible to judge the level of competence of the other guys but the women seemed to be a mix of beginners and one lady who evidently had some experience of the ways of dance as she kept adding her own little pirouettes. I was involved in the night's one mishap though: I was positioned quite near to a table and when practicing a raise turn (and return) my partner bumped into it and quite noisily nearly fell over. It wasn't my fault, honest.

There was a break in the middle for people to have a breather and buy a drink from the bar at ‘prices cheaper than the club night’. £2.50 for a bottle of Tiger? Wow – how will you make any money? You’re practically giving them away!

At the end of the class Julie and Andy demonstrated the moves that we’ll be covering over the next 4 weeks. I was disappointed to see that there were no throws involved but some of the steps did look fairly nifty.

Once the class has finished they play jive music for 30mins or so to let you practice your moves. As far as I could tell I was the only person to have turned up alone so while a few couples perfected their bouncey step raise turn combos, I finished off my cut-price beer and headed out into the Kennington evening.

Reading back, some of that sounds fairly cynical. It shouldn’t, I enjoyed it and am looking forward to session 2. Unrelated to jive, I was in South Pacific a few weeks back and was impressed by the attention to detail. Check out the table football players:

And to cap the night, City finally won and I spotted the Brixton limping fox very close to my house on the way home.