"Fredrik, pass the loofah"

So I get back from footy feeling pretty knackered and sweaty and decide to have a bath. A quick recce of the bathroom reveals that my female flatmate doesn’t have any smellies that I can pinch so I make do with my shower gel. Here it is (apologies for the poor quality pic - when I used the flash, the glare from the tiles practically blinded me):

Now, let’s just take a closer look at that:

Take your eyes away from my glycerine-moisturised fingers for a minute and look at the name of that shower gel. Kurious?? What? Which marketing genius came up with that? Doesn't exactly conjure up the usual images that masculine toiletries go for: crashing waves, strength, primeval rugged brawn. Aquatonic....Lynx....Ice Dive....Wild Indigo....Kurious. “For the undecided, open-minded sportsperson!” You’re a highly paid professional sportstar, you need to get your kicks somehow, right Ashley? [that’s enough of that! Libel Ed.] According to the back of the bottle: “Sportstar Kurious Moisturising Shower Gel with it’s [sic.] distinctive masculine fragrance is enriched with pure Glycerine to leave your skin clean, fresh and invigorated”. Maybe it's for the more thoughtful sporting hero. Like Graeme Le Saux. Before you ask where you can buy some, I’m afraid that I’ve no idea. My parents brought it down for me last week. I think it might have been given to me at Christmas by a grandma. Maybe they had suspicions about me… perhaps with good reason judging by my quest to steal Claudia’s bath products.

A final point – if you’re going to call a shower gel ‘Kurious’, then you have to at least make it orange.

If anyone knows of a more absurdly named product, please share it.