That situation is not going to change now. However, while watching the France v Spain game in the World Cup this evening, I was reminded of one thing that really does p*ss me off. There are plenty of things that depress and upset me about football circa 2006 but I don’t want to talk here about diving, gamesmanship, or the increasingly insidious role of agents. Not even the spiralling wages and money obsessed culture that’s causing the game to implode. No, the thing that really bugs me is names. Specifically, the way that commentators (and Clive Tyldesley, when I am King you will be first against the wall) now feel chummy enough with the players to refer to them using cutesy nicknames. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you ‘Manu’ Petit, ‘Seba’ Veron, and ‘Rafa’ Benitez, to name but three. When those three arrived on our shores they were known as their mothers had intended: Emmanuel, Juan Sebastian, and Rafael. So why the change Tyldesley you monkey? Did they personally ask to be referred to in these matey terms? The nadir though has to be ‘Bolo’ Zenden. What?? Bolo?? His name is Boudewijn. There are few better names than Boudewijn. So where the frig has ‘Bolo’ appeared from? He sounds like a clown! Seriously, it makes my blood boil. Watching any televised coverage is liable to get me hurling obscenities at the screen. This whole sorry rant was sparked tonight by the appearance of Spanish midfielder, Francesc, sorry, ‘Cesc’ Fabregas. I suppose I can’t blame Tyldesley and his commentary brethren for calling him ‘Cesc’ as he appears to have removed his surname entirely and now has ‘Cesc’ on the back of his shirt. FIFA should stop faffing about with the technicalities of the offside law and clamp down on important issues like this. I want to see nicknames outlawed unless you are Brazilian.
So it’s hat off to my new favourite footballer, someone who is upholding the traditional values of the people’s game. Take a bow, Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink.
7 comments:
Actually this is always something me and my bro have hated for a while. I hate the fact that they get chummy, but also hate it when they can't pronounce the name, so they drop it.
What I hate more than that, and much more than that, is the commentators' habit of knowing 100% why the player did (or did not) do something. It's like they all get a 'spurious post-hoc attribution' chip inserted up their arse when they first join the company. That and a partial lobotomy, as witnessed by the apparent retardation.
For instance - "he missed that as he was too anxious".... what the fuck?!?! It would be more accurate for the second commentator to then say "stop guessing, you said that as you're a cunt".
Rant over.
By the way, the example I was meant to give was "Kanu".
Actually, I'll keep going...
i want to be a summariser. I'll say, "how do you know, did you just ask him? Even then, his personal attribution may be wrong, so can you establish the cause and effect relationship between said anxiety and the observed missed shot independently of his opinion?"
what I find irritating is that commentators suddenly decide that a player's name is actually pronounced a different way, after years of pronouncing it one way, without any warning. Typically, I now cant think of an example, but it does happen! Actually the BBC news do a similar thing- I specifically remember them one day changing how contraversy is pronounced and all other newsreaders following suit.
you're right - I nearly mentioned the sudden shift from Andy to Andrew Cole in the blog.
"Dear commentators, my client wishes it to be known that from this day forward he is to be referred to as Andrew.
Yours faithfully,
E. Vil
Agent to Andrew (nee Andy) Cole"
Alan Green pisses me off - he pronounces the Arsenal defender's name as "Sen-dare-oss" while everyone else has been using "Sen-der-oss" for ages. The worst part is that Green is probably right. Bastard. He does the same with "Ee-vra" at the rags.
That news reader thing is true too - I can't remember where it is now but there is some country/city that they have started pronouncing differently recently. Anyone?
Ive had a think and I am not sure which town you mean. But I have a vague recollection of it also- was it not somewhere in Iraq?
I think it probably is Munch, but still can't recall it. Just watch the BBC news every night this week and we're bound to find out. Huw Edwards was particularl good at it.
Post a Comment